The Emperor's New Friend
by Alexa Wessner
Summary: What happends when Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine get in a huge fight leaving Palpatine to make a contest for his new best friend? Chapter 2 up! Please read and review!
1. Not So much as Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or anything else mentioned in this story. I am sorry if I offend anyone, this story has been created for your amusement.  
  
The Emperor's New Friend  
  
(Chapter 1: Not so much as friends)  
  
One day Emperor Palpatine felt really bored. He decided to call Vader into his throne room to play monopoly. This however, was a terrible idea, considering Vader kept winning, causing Palpatine to break down into tears.  
  
"That's it, you can't play with me anymore!" cried Palpatine. "I'm gonna find myself a new best friend!" He whined, as he stammered out of the room, screaming like a 5 year old. Vader was sitting on the flour, Indian style, confused at what he just saw. Though his expression was virtually impossible to tell just by looking at his decrepit mask made out of the scraps of old mailboxes and kitty litter frames the Emperor had found... all those years ago.  
  
That reminded Darth Vader of something. Him and Palpatine had been best friends since before he even went by the name Vader. And Now Palpatine was trashing their friendship over monopoly! Palpatine was either becoming bipolar, or insanely old. But most likely the second one. 


	2. George Washington

Chapter 2- George Washington  
  
Emperor Palpatine immediately started pulling random people out of history and forcing them to hang out with him to compete with who makes the best friend. Hey, he could do what ever the hell he wants, he's the Emperor.  
  
Palpatine started to pull out people from America's history. The first contestant was George Washington. When Palpy saw Washington's attire he started bursting out in laughter. Washington asked, "Why are you laughing? Don't you have any respect?"  
  
Palpatine explained, "Your wig, haha."  
  
"So..." Washington said, confused.  
  
"Its funny looking." Palpatine answered. Washington and Palpatine decided to take a walk in the park. But every time they would Pass by a tree, Washington would attempt to chop down a tree. Sadly he wasn't strong enough to cut even one branch with his warped hatchet, which is why I said he "attempted" to cut down trees.  
  
"So What's your favorite kind of bird?" Washington asked, trying to make conversation with this dark lord. Washington's eyes remained fixated on the nearest tree.  
  
"Chicken." Palpatine answered revealing his sharp, pointed teeth. Washington thought he might have some broccoli on his own teeth and brushed his fingers across them. He completely forgot they were made out of wood and got a splinter. He started crying, but was interrupted by Palpatine.  
  
"Excuse me, but I got to take a pee." Palpatine explained and darted towards the nearest bush, since there were no bathrooms at the park. Washington raced over to the nearest tree (happened to be a cherry tree) and started furiously swinging his rotted away hatchet at the crumbling bark of the small, shriveled tree. Locals walking in the park started hysterically laughing at this strange creature with a frilly bib sticking out of his jacket, as he anxiously swung his puny little hatchet.  
  
When Palpatine finished his um... business, he thought Washington might need some help chopping the tree. Palpatine raised his shriveled, decrepit fingers and struck lightning bolts at the poor tree. It instantly fried up and fell to the ground. Washington looked disappointed and started cursing out Palpatine. Palpatine struck his fingers out at Washington and electrocuted him as well.  
  
Washington let out a shrilling shriek and screamed, "That's it, I'm not playing with you anymore." And just like that Washington withdrew from the contest.  
  
Palpatine shrugged and let out a sigh. Looks like this is going to be harder than he thought. Guess he better find the next contestant to be his best friend.  
  
(A/n: that's it for this chapter. Please read and review and say who you would like to be the next contestant for the best friend contest.) 


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